Why Do We Feel So Unsettled? The Answer You Might Be Avoiding

Have you ever felt like something is off in your life but can’t quite explain it? Maybe you have everything you thought you wanted—a good job, a nice home, family, friends—and yet you feel a persistent sense of unease. If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. In fact, this feeling is so common in our culture that Fr. Thomas Hopko once described it as “almost a national disease.”

Why do so many of us feel this way? The answer might surprise you.

The Reality of Our Restlessness

Fr. Thomas Hopko, in The Lenten Spring, wrote about the quiet dread many of us experience when we pause from our frantic activity. He observed, “People feel unhappy and don’t know why… Everything is fine, yet everything is wrong.” ¹

This restlessness often reveals itself when the noise of our busy lives stops—when we turn off the phone, step away from work, or find ourselves alone with our thoughts. What remains is a deep dissatisfaction that no amount of entertainment, success, or material possessions can fill.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

The Church teaches us that this unease has a spiritual cause. We are not at home. We are exiles in this world, estranged from the presence of God. As St. Augustine famously wrote, “You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”

This separation from God is the root of our spiritual sickness. Like a plant uprooted from its soil, we can’t truly thrive unless we are reconnected to our source of life.

The Cost of Filling the Void with Noise

Our culture tells us that the cure for unhappiness is to do more, buy more, and achieve more. Yet, this only masks the symptoms. Studies show that constant distractions, such as endless scrolling on phones or binge-watching TV, can make us more anxious and disconnected.

• A study published in Behavioral Sciences found that excessive screen time is strongly linked to increased feelings of loneliness and depression.

• Another study in The Journal of Happiness Studies revealed that people who spend time in silence and reflection report greater overall well-being.

The problem isn’t just what we’re doing—it’s what we’re avoiding.

The Way Back Home

If you feel restless, alienated, or dissatisfied, take heart. This longing is not a curse—it’s a call. It’s a reminder that you were made for something more.

1. Turn Toward God

Begin by seeking God in prayer. Even if it feels awkward or forced, simply saying, “Lord, I feel lost. Help me find my way back to You,” is a powerful step.

The Bible reminds us in Psalm 42:1, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, my God.” Your restlessness is your soul longing for its Creator.

2. Embrace Silence

Take time each day to disconnect from the noise. Turn off your phone, step away from the distractions, and sit in silence before God. As Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

3. Reconnect with the Church

The Church offers the spiritual nourishment and community we need to heal our alienation. Attending services, participating in the sacraments, and surrounding yourself with others who are seeking God can help restore your sense of belonging.

4. Serve Others

When we focus solely on ourselves, the emptiness only grows. Serving others redirects our attention outward and helps us experience the love and joy of Christ.

Final Thoughts

You weren’t made to feel restless, alienated, or dissatisfied. These feelings are symptoms of a deeper spiritual longing—a longing to return to your true home with God.

If you’re ready to address the emptiness, start by quieting the noise and turning to the One who made you. As Jesus promised in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

In this rest, you’ll find the peace and fulfillment the world can’t offer—and you’ll finally understand what it means to feel at home.

¹ “People feel unhappy and don’t know why. They feel that something is wrong but can’t put their finger on what it is. They feel uneasy in the world, confused and frustrated, alienated and estranged, and can’t explain it. They have everything and yet want more; and when they get it, they’re still left empty and dissatisfied. They want happiness and peace, and nothing seems to bring it. They want fulfillment, and it never seems to come. Everything is fine, yet everything is wrong. In America this is almost a national disease. It is covered over by frantic activity and endless running around. It is buried in activities and events. It is drowned out by television programs [and cell phones] and games. But when the movement stops and the dial is turned off and everything is quiet then the dread sets in, and the meaninglessness of it all, and the boredom, and the fear. Why is this so? Because, the Church tells us, we are really not at home. We are in exile. We are alienated and estranged from our true country. We are not with God our Father in the land of the living. We are spiritually sick. And some of us are already dead.” — Fr. Thomas Hopko (“The Lenten Spring”)