Unpopular opinion, but... a problem-free life might be more dangerous than one full of pain

Unpopular opinion, but… a problem-free life might be more dangerous than one full of pain

Most of us want peace. We want our lives to go smoothly—no drama, no pain, no stress. But Thomas Merton once wrote something surprising:

Wait, what? Isn’t it better to avoid pain and live a calm life?

Not always.

Let’s look at why facing hard things might actually bring you closer to God—and how this idea connects with both Scripture and science.

The reason why you might be struggling with despair...

…is not because something is wrong with your faith, but because your heart is finally open to grace.

When life falls apart—when you're anxious, burned out, or feel like you're failing—that's actually when you're most able to receive mercy.

Jesus said,

Being “poor in spirit” doesn’t mean weak. It means knowing we don’t have it all together. And that honesty makes room for God to meet us.

What despair can do for your soul

Despair feels scary. But it can also be a door. Merton said it's better to meet God in your lowest place than to live comfortably without Him.

Why? Because comfort without God can turn into complacency. We forget to pray. We stop asking for forgiveness. We start thinking we’re fine on our own.

But when we’re in pain, we finally cry out. And that’s where mercy meets us.

What neuroscience says about despair

Brain scans show that emotional pain activates the same parts of the brain as physical pain. But researchers also found something else: people who face emotional lows and recover build stronger emotional flexibility over time.

In simple words: going through hard times can actually make your brain stronger, if you go through it with the right support and mindset.

Spiritual practices like prayer, journaling, reading Scripture, and being in church community help the brain form new, healthy pathways.

Mercy is the key

Romans 5:20 says,

That means when things look worst, God’s mercy shows up the strongest. If you’ve failed, if you’re overwhelmed, if you feel like quitting—you are exactly where mercy can reach you.

What you can do today

If you’re walking through despair:

• Tell God the truth. Say it out loud. You don’t need to hide your pain.

• Read Psalm 51 slowly. Let the words soak in.

• Talk to someone holy. A priest, spiritual friend, or wise mentor can remind you of God’s mercy.

• Go to church. Being with others who are also seeking God can strengthen your heart.

Final thought

A problem-free life isn’t the goal. A grace-filled one is.

If despair has made you feel unworthy, remember: mercy was made for people like you.

Jesus knows what it feels like to suffer. And He meets you, not when you’re perfect—but when you’re poor in spirit, ready to receive mercy.

And that… is real hope.