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Think You’re Doing Fine by Skipping That Promise to Yourself? Think Again.
Jerome Chandler
January 07, 2025
Think You’re Doing Fine by Skipping That Promise to Yourself? Think Again.
Let’s talk about something we all do but rarely acknowledge: lying to ourselves. Whether it’s skipping a workout, procrastinating on a personal goal, or making excuses for why we didn’t follow through, these small betrayals can chip away at something far more significant than we realize—our self-confidence.
Why does this matter for Christian professionals? Because the way we treat ourselves impacts how we treat others, our work, and even our relationship with God. Let’s dig into why failing to keep commitments to yourself is more serious than you might think and how to start turning it around today.
The Science of Self-Betrayal
Research in psychology shows that self-confidence is closely tied to self-integrity. When you consistently break promises to yourself, your brain starts to associate your words with unreliability. Essentially, you’re teaching yourself that you can’t be trusted.
Here’s how this cycle works:
Reduced Motivation: Each time you skip a commitment, your brain normalizes the behavior, making it harder to follow through next time.
Increased Stress: Failing to meet your own expectations creates cognitive dissonance, a mental tension that wears on your well-being.
Eroded Self-Trust: Over time, you stop believing in your ability to succeed, which leads to even more broken commitments.
A study from the University of Hertfordshire found that people who stick to personal goals, even small ones, experience increased happiness and resilience. Simply put: when you honor your promises to yourself, you build trust with the most important person in your life—you.
What Does the Bible Say About Integrity?
Scripture repeatedly emphasizes the importance of honesty and follow-through, not just with others but within ourselves. Consider these verses:
“Let your yes be yes, and your no be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation” (James 5:12). This isn’t just about external commitments; it applies to the promises you make in your heart.
“Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much” (Luke 16:10). If you can’t keep a promise to yourself, how can you expect to honor commitments to others or to God?
Saintly wisdom echoes this sentiment. St. John Chrysostom taught:
"He who is not true to himself cannot be true to another."
The Spiritual Impact of Breaking Promises to Yourself
When you repeatedly let yourself down, it doesn’t just affect your confidence—it weakens your spiritual foundation. Here’s why:
Lack of Discipline: The saints remind us that self-discipline is key to spiritual growth. Failing in small commitments often snowballs into larger areas of neglect.
Weakened Prayer Life: When you feel unreliable to yourself, it can create a sense of distance from God, as though you’re unworthy of His love and grace.
Missed Opportunities: The Bible speaks of being good stewards of what we’ve been given. Your body, mind, and time are gifts, and neglecting them means missing out on their full potential.
The Path to Rebuilding Self-Trust
If you’ve been breaking promises to yourself, it’s not too late to turn things around. Here’s how:
Start Small and Be Realistic.
Don’t overpromise. Commit to something manageable, like a 10-minute walk or one healthy meal a day.Acknowledge and Repent.
Confess your self-deception to God. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us” (1 John 1:9). A clean slate allows for fresh commitments.Track Your Progress.
Keep a journal to record your successes, no matter how small. Seeing your progress builds momentum.Anchor Your Commitments to Scripture.
Meditate on verses that remind you of God’s call to integrity and perseverance, such as “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).
The Cold Hard Truth About Broken Promises
Failing to keep commitments to yourself isn’t just a bad habit—it’s a direct assault on your confidence, happiness, and spiritual health. But here’s the good news: every step toward integrity, no matter how small, is a step toward wholeness.
You wouldn’t tolerate a friend or colleague who constantly let you down, so why tolerate it in yourself? By choosing honesty, discipline, and grace, you’re not just building a better version of yourself—you’re honoring the person God created you to be.
So, what’s the one promise to yourself you’ll start keeping today? Share it in the comments and inspire others to do the same!
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