How To Achieve Solitude WITHOUT Quitting Your Busy Life

Hey friend!

John Keats has a sonnet with the title “O, Solitude!” Wordsworth, in his Prelude, wrote:

When from our better selves we have too long
Been parted by the hurrying world, and droop
Sick of its business, of its pleasures tired.
How gracious, how benign, is Solitude.

Two centuries earlier, Montaigne wrote an essay on the subject of solitude. “Now the aim of all solitude, I take it, is the same: to live more at leisure and at one’s ease,” he explained. To achieve this, it is “not enough to have gotten away from the crowd, it is not enough to move; we must get away from the gregarious instincts that are inside us, we must sequester ourselves and repossess ourselves.” He notes that “real solitude may be enjoyed in the midst of cities and the courts of kings; but it is enjoyed more handily alone,” and adds that “the greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”

The vast majority of us, those who are professionals, are passionate about what it is we do, what that can provide for our families, and how it can serve our customers or the community. So, we cannot just up and quit our careers and lives, to just go and live a solitary life.

My friend, I want to discuss below a mind shift that helped me tremendously.

Desert Fathers

There were these people called Desert Fathers. They were an early Christian monks and hermits who lived alone in the deserts of Egypt, Palestine, and Syria from the 3rd to 5th centuries. They believed that being alone helped them avoid distractions and focus on God. They lived in caves, huts, or small cells, far away from cities and villages.

In their solitude, they spent a lot of time praying and meditating, often repeating short prayers like the Jesus Prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." They also practiced fasting and self-denial to help them concentrate better on spiritual matters. Reading and thinking deeply about the Bible was another important part of their daily routine, and they often memorized large portions of scripture to meditate on throughout the day.

Silence was very important to the Desert Fathers. It helped them listen to God and feel His presence. They practiced a tradition called "hesychasm," which means finding inner stillness and peace. To support themselves, they did simple manual labor, like weaving baskets or farming, and they saw this work as another way to pray and stay connected to God.

Being alone brought the Desert Fathers many benefits. It helped them clear their minds of worldly distractions and sinful thoughts, bringing them closer to God and giving them a sense of peace. They gained a lot of wisdom and spiritual insight from their solitary practices, becoming known for their ability to give wise advice. The inner peace they found made them emotionally stable and able to handle challenges and temptations. Their calm and peaceful nature reflected their deep trust in God.

Their way of life inspired many people and led to the growth of monasticism, where people live in communities dedicated to religious practice. Even today, their teachings and writings influence Christian spirituality. The Desert Fathers used solitude to grow spiritually, find inner peace, and gain wisdom, setting an example for others who seek a deeper spiritual path.

However, growing spiritually, finding inner peace, and gaining wisdom is not solely reserved for those who join monastic communities.

St. Anthony the Great, one of, if not THE foremost Desert Father, in all his monastic fervency, also struggled with pride in how well he was doing at spiritual matters. I remember a story of how God removed the pride from him, using a common city dweller:

At some time, St. Anthony the Great thought to himself “I wonder with whose spiritual achievements my spiritual life can be compared with”. God, however, in order to humble this thought revealed to him in a dream that superior to him was a shoe-maker who had a store in the back streets of Alexandria.

Once it was daybreak, the saint took his staff and headed off to the city. He wanted to meet in person this famed shoe-maker and see his virtues. With great difficulty he discovered his store, sat down at the counter and began asking about his life.

The man was simple and didn’t even occur to him who this elderly monk was that had come so unexpectedly into his store querying him. The man, while continuing to work and without taking his eyes off the shoes he was working on replied gently;

“Elder, I don’t know if I have ever done anything good. Every morning after waking up, I pray and then I start work. First, I think to myself how every person in this city, from the smallest to the greatest will be saved, and only I will be condemned due to my countless transgressions. And in the evening when I go to sleep I have the same thoughts.

The Elder rose with wonder and embraced and kissed him and said emotively:

“You, my brother, like a good merchant, have gained the priceless pearl without toil. I have grown old in the desert, sweated and toiled but have not reached your level of humility.”

Note This shoemaker was practicing what is called compunction. This doesn’t mean everyone should go around beating themselves up for their mistakes, but rather, this is an actual spiritual practice in the Christian faith. 

So the shoemaker story shows us, that spiritual level is not dependent on going into the forest, or joining a monastic community. So if that is the case, then it is possible to practice solitude, even while in a busy city, even while working. You just have to find intentional times, places, and spaces.

Habakkuk 2:20:

"But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him."

This verse emphasizes reverence and awe in the presence of God, encouraging silence and contemplation as a form of worship and respect for the divine.

“The 1st stage is tranquility, which consists in silencing the lips when the heart is excited. The
second, is silencing the mind when the soul is still excited. The goal is a perfect peacefulness even in the middle of a raging storm.” -St. John Climacus

That said, I saw this in another place online, and thought it may help you.

1. Deepening Your Relationship with God:

- When you're alone, it's a great opportunity to pray and talk to God without distractions. This helps you to feel closer to Him and understand His will for your life.

- Silence and solitude allow you to listen to God's voice in your heart. Sometimes, it's hard to hear Him when there's a lot of noise around.

2. Self-Reflection:

- Solitude gives you time to think about your life, actions, and decisions. It's a chance to reflect on what you've done well and where you might need to improve.

- This self-examination can lead to spiritual growth because you become more aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

3. Inner Peace:

- Spending time alone can bring a sense of calm and peace. It helps you to step away from the busyness of life and find rest for your soul.

- This peacefulness is important for feeling balanced and connected to God.

Health Benefits of Solitude

1. Reducing Stress:

- Being alone can help lower stress levels. When you're away from the hustle and bustle, your mind and body can relax. What’s crazy is, everyone has different amounts that they need. A more extroverted person may need less solitude than an introverted person. The key is to figure out how much you need.

- Less stress means you feel better overall and are less likely to get sick.

2. Improving Focus and Concentration:

- Without interruptions, you can focus better on tasks and think more clearly. This can help with studying, working, or any activities that require concentration. You have to kind of protect your solitude time like a hawk! Phone on silent, children in bed, unplug the wifi, whatever you have to do.

- Improved focus can lead to better performance in school and other areas of life.

3. Emotional Well-Being:

- Solitude allows you to process your emotions. You can think about how you feel and why, which helps you to manage your emotions better. You have to figure yourself out, before you can figure out your life. What are your triggers? What made you do what you did? Why did you think those thoughts? Are those even your thoughts or are they Logismoi? What did you eat or watch before you had those emotions?

- Understanding your emotions can lead to better mental health and stronger emotional resilience.

4. Enhancing Creativity:

- Many people find that they have their best ideas when they're alone. Solitude can inspire creativity and new ways of thinking. Companies and corporations claim (I think dubiously) that everyone working in the same building improves collaboration, which I guess is supposedly going to spark new innovations and ideas. Few allow or prioritize solitude time for their workers to innovate and problem solve.

- This can be useful for solving problems and coming up with innovative solutions.

Practical Tips for Embracing Solitude

1. Set Aside Time Daily:

- Try to find a few minutes each day to be alone. This could be in the morning, before bed, or during a quiet walk.

- Use this time for prayer, reflection, or simply being still.

2. Find a Quiet Place:

- Choose a spot where you won't be disturbed, like a quiet room, a park, or a church.

- Make this your special place for solitude.

3. Be Patient:

- At first, being alone might feel strange or uncomfortable, but with practice, you'll start to appreciate the benefits.

- Remember that solitude is a time for you and God, and it's okay to start with just a few minutes each day.

“It is a great art to succeed in having your soul sanctified. A person can become a saint anywhere. He can become a saint in Omonia Square*, if he wants. At your work, whatever it may be, you can become a saint through meekness, patience, and love. Make a new start every day, with new resolution, with enthusiasm and love, prayer and silence — not with anxiety so that you get a pain in the chest.”

— St. Porphyrios, Wounded by Love

* Omonia Square: the commercial center of Athens, also synonymous with vice and corruption